Albert "Bert" "The Machine" Kreischer is an American stand-up comedian, actor and reality television host. In 1997, as a member of the Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity, he was featured in Rolling Stone as "the top partier" at Florida State University, the "top party school in the US", while he was in his sixth year of college. The Rolling Stone article was the inspiration for the 2002 movie Van Wilder. From 2000 to 2001, he was the co-host of the FX Network variety show The X Show. A segment that aired on the show, "Ass Wax", where Kreischer had his hair removed with hot wax, led Kreischer to gain his own show on the FX Network, titled Hurt Bert, in 2004. In the same year, he had a role in an episode of the police drama The Shield.
Kreischer claims that on a college field trip to Russia, he drank with the Russian mob and even participated in a robbery while intoxicated.